Mother’s Day Is Not Always Happy

After my mother passed and I remained childless, Mother’s Day became a painful reminder of the unfulfilled spaces in my life, previously filled by my mother’s unconditional love and the promise of children to come. For years, I waited for a positive pregnancy test that never happened and felt like a pathetic failure.

Years later, I became a mother through adoption and had finally joined the club. My sweet co-workers gave a “baby” shower for my six and 7-year-old sons as did their father’s co-workers. The imaginary visions of children running back and forth in our backyard manifested into a reality. I joined the ranks of working mothers who hurriedly prepared breakfast, rushed kids to the bus stops, worked a full-time job, and then picked up kids from after-school daycare for an evening ritual of meal preparation, homework assistance, family time and nightly showers.

Without revisiting painful details, years later, I lost my kids through parental alienation, which involved manipulation and controlling behavior despite having a joint custody court order. My absence in their lives changed the trajectory of their future. And yes, like other parents faced with a similar situation, I had alerted the legal system of my situation to no avail. However, sometimes you lose the things that you love but regain peace of mind and sanity.